The Power of Presence

Presence is a crucial aspect of coaching and therapy that involves being mentally and emotionally engaged with clients. It requires coaches and therapists to be mindful, self-aware and empathetic, creating a safe and supportive environment for clients to explore their thoughts and feelings.

Developing presence brings numerous benefits, including enhanced self-awareness, building strong relationships, greater client confidence and growth, improved therapeutic alliance, promotion of therapist and client growth and the creation of a safe and supportive environment.

In this article, I explore the key aspects of presence in coaching and therapy, how to express it in client interactions and strategies for cultivating and practicing presence.

Key aspects of presence

Presence in coaching and therapy means being attuned to the subtleties of the client's experience and adjusting the approach as needed. It involves key aspects such as awareness and attention, authenticity and congruence, empathetic listening, flexibility and responsiveness, emotional regulation and creating a therapeutic environment. It requires the practitioner to be genuine and congruent in their interactions, creating an atmosphere of trust and safety for the client.

The presence of the therapist or coach contributes significantly to the creation of a therapeutic environment, where clients can explore their thoughts and feelings safely and constructively. Research has proven that a safe and trusting environment is the first and foremost key element of a positive coaching and therapy outcome.

A key component of presence is the ability to listen empathetically, understanding the client's perspective and feelings without judgment, ensuring that the client feels heard and understood. Coaches and therapists have to be fully aware of themselves, their clients and the dynamics of the conversation, understanding the client's verbal and non-verbal cues, emotions and thoughts.

Being present also means being flexible and responsive to the client's needs, adapting one's style and approach to fit the unique situation of each client, which can lead to more effective and personalized support. In the process, practitioners must manage their own emotions and remain grounded, especially when dealing with challenging or intense situations. This self-regulation helps in maintaining a focused and calm demeanor, which is essential for effective practice.

Expressing presence in client interactions

A good coach or therapist demonstrates presence in client interactions through several key practices:

• Fully engaging with the client and demonstrating empathy and understanding involves listening without interrupting, showing genuine interest and validating the client's feelings and experiences
• Maintaining eye contact and using appropriate body language, such as nodding and smiling, is essential for showing attentiveness and connection with the client
• Using verbal and non-verbal feedback techniques, such as paraphrasing, summarizing and reflecting, demonstrates understanding and keeps the conversation on track
• Employing thought-provoking questions that challenge the client to think deeply and differently about their issues helps in uncovering new insights and perspectives
• Knowing how to embody coaching presence, which includes being mindful, self-aware and adaptable to each client's needs, is a core competency of effective coaching.

Cultivating and practicing presence

To cultivate and maintain presence, a coach or therapist needs several key skills and practices:

• Developing strong internal listening skills involves tuning into one's own thoughts and feelings to manage them effectively during sessions
• Cultivating self-awareness and mindfulness is essential, and techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises and meditation can help clear the mind of distractions and foster a state of calm presence
• Developing deep listening skills and a receptive posture enables a coach or therapist to fully engage with and understand the client, being attentive to verbal and non-verbal cues
• Practicing active listening and demonstrating empathy is crucial, truly hearing what the client is saying and showing understanding and compassion
• Utilizing life coaching resources and tools, including supervision, can enhance these skills and practices, and continual learning and regular practice are key to developing a strong coaching presence.

Presence and co-regulation

Presence also plays a crucial role in enabling positive co-regulation in the polyvagal sense by creating a safe and empathetic environment that fosters emotional and physiological wellbeing.

According to the Polyvagal Theory, expressing presence acts as a conduit for achieving positive co-regulation, which is essential for promoting a sense of safety and connection. When a coach or therapist demonstrates presence through attentive and empathetic engagement, it helps regulate the autonomic nervous system's responses, encouraging a shift toward the parasympathetic branch. This branch is responsible for calming and restoring the body, promoting a state of relaxation and safety.

Additionally, the reciprocal sending and receiving of safety signals through presence actively communicates understanding and comfort, contributing to co-regulation. By creating a safe, empathetic, and connected environment, presence aligns with the principles of the Polyvagal Theory, facilitating positive co-regulation and overall emotional and physiological health.

Case illustration

Let me demonstrate a few of the basic principles in a brief case description. Meet Sarah, a 35-year-old marketing executive who has been struggling with work-related stress and anxiety. She has been seeing a life coach, John, for the past few months to help her manage her stress and improve her work-personal life balance. John has been working on developing his presence to better support Sarah in her journey.

During their last session, Sarah shared that she had a difficult meeting with her boss earlier that day, which left her feeling overwhelmed and anxious. John listened attentively, maintaining eye contact and nodding to show that he was fully present and engaged. He used reflective listening techniques to summarize Sarah's concerns and validate her feelings, which helped her feel heard and understood.

John then asked Sarah some powerful questions to help her gain a new perspective on the situation. He encouraged her to think about what she could control in the situation and what steps she could take to improve her work-personal life balance. Sarah felt empowered and motivated to take action after the session.

John's presence and empathetic listening skills helped Sarah feel safe and supported, which allowed her to open up and explore her thoughts and feelings. By embodying key coaching competencies and cultivating his presence, John was able to provide effective and personalized support to Sarah, helping her achieve her goals and improve her overall wellbeing.

Providing effective and personalized client support with presence

Presence is a vital aspect of coaching and therapy, creating a safe and supportive environment for clients to explore their thoughts and feelings. Developing presence brings numerous benefits, including enhanced self-awareness, building strong relationships, greater client confidence and growth, improved therapeutic alliance, promotion of therapist and client growth and the creation of a safe and supportive environment.

By focusing on the key aspects, coaches and therapists can enhance their presence and provide more effective and personalized support to their clients, helping them improve their wellbeing and achieve their personal goals.