Wellbeing and Neurodiversity

The following is an edited extract from 52 Weeks of Wellbeing.

Over the years, what has become clearer and clearer to me is that what works for one person does not work for another and that every single person’s needs are different and change over time. You change as you age, your circumstances shift, your tastes mature (supposedly) and subsequently your wellbeing will fluctuate, as will your non-negotiables – the things you need to be your best self.

This is challenging enough for neurotypical people and something we will wrestle with for our entire lives. For the neurodiverse amongst us, this is something else entirely and wellbeing is a whole different beast to be tackled. It is believed that up to 15 per cent of the population is neurodiverse.

An interview with Jess Gosling

With neurodiversity being much more common than we think, I decided to chat with Jess Gosling. Recognized globally as being named one of the UK’s ‘Most Influential Women in Tech’ for three years (2020-2022) and named one of the ‘Top 50 Influential Neurodivergent Women’ in 2022, I couldn’t think of anyone better than Jess to discuss this subject with.

Jess has built her career around interdisciplinary thinking, working abroad for over seven years, and with a deep passion for championing belonging and wellbeing in the workplace. Jess also has ADHD, autism, OCD, dyslexia, depression and chronic anxiety.

Ryan: Welcome, Jess! Thank you for joining me today to discuss the intersection of neurodiversity and wellbeing. I’m super excited to hear your insights and experiences on this important topic given that I am neurodiverse myself and am on my own personal learning journey. Prioritizing wellbeing in the modern digital world is increasingly challenging for everyone, but for neurodiverse individuals, it can be even more complex. How do you navigate the pressure to constantly be available in a digital world?

Jess: We should all seek to prioritize our wellbeing; however, doing this in practice can be another thing entirely. In a world where we work more digitally than ever, we can always feel pressure to be ‘turned on’ and constantly available. This, in and of itself, is a massive barrier to a healthy balance between life and work. If you add neurodiversity, the picture gets even more complicated. Prioritizing your wellbeing (and being neurodiverse) can feel quite alien. It can feel like you can’t put yourself first, as everyone else’s needs are more important. It can feel selfish to set your own needs first. The reality is that self-care is not selfish. For us to be our best selves, we need to ensure our needs are met, including making time to relax whilst recovering our energy levels.

Ryan: You mentioned that individuals who are neurodiverse may experience feelings of guilt when it comes to prioritizing self-care. How have you personally navigated these feelings?

Jess: People who are neurodiverse may experience a variety of emotions when they understand and ultimately make self-care necessary. Firstly, some people can feel incredible guilt for putting themselves (and equally their needs) over others (so imagine, why are my emotions/feelings more valid?). Secondly, individuals can experience intense feelings of not being deserving enough or ‘good enough’ to warrant self-care (so imagine, why do I deserve to have self-care?). Thirdly, some people can also struggle with feeling rejected or like an ‘outsider’, especially in such a productive, driven society (so imagine, what is wrong with me, why do I need to recharge?).

These three things are not on the final list, but they are all things I have seen. They are three things I actively struggle with every single day. I say this as someone balancing a full-time job, a PhD and other fun stuff (like being a yoga teacher, volunteering, etc.). I focus on finding ways to be productive, but not at the expense of my wellbeing. My focus has long been on creating and maintaining a healthy balance between everything work related and a life outside of that.

Seven wellbeing tips for neurodiverse people

Here are some tips for prioritizing wellbeing as people who are neurodiverse:

Tip 1: Get realistic about your outputs (and do not feel guilty)

Every day will be different in terms of energy level, what you can deliver and how you might feel. Productivity should not be at the expense of wellbeing. There is not a sliding scale between productivity and wellbeing – it’s not one or the other!

It can be challenging to feel like you can be productive if you are deflated, paranoid, anxious or have negative mental space. Therefore, it is vital to get realistic about what outputs you can deliver and not feel guilty about it.

Tip 2: Get strategic with your breaks

Take mental breaks during the day, whatever that may look like. Every day is different and we can’t always manage all external pressures. However, we can make decisions to prioritize our wellbeing during the day.

Mental breaks can mean taking a moment to get some fresh air, speaking to someone close to you on the phone or even popping outside to your nearest cafe to get a coffee. This will help in navigating daily mental fatigue and can help you stay focused.

Tip 3: Take control of your environment

In our busy lives, those who are sensitive to external stimuli can often become overwhelmed by certain situations, locations or environments. They can feel overwhelmed by sensory things, like bright lights or the vibe in a place. At the same time, they face several challenges regarding how they work and study, having specific preferences. As such, it is crucial to control the environment where possible to mitigate any potentially disturbing/negative stimuli.

For neurodiverse people, it can be important to seek adjustments as far as possible to ensure you get the support you need. Tapping into what you know works for you is an excellent practice to get into.

Tip 4: Connect with others (and talk about your feelings)

Making time for connections and speaking to others is vital in prioritizing your wellbeing. Life can often feel lonely and we can run the risk of not talking to anyone all day or even for days at a time (if you are remotely working).

For those who are neurodiverse, this isolation can be felt even harder. Proactively speaking to those you have an active connection with will enable you to centre yourself. Engaging with family, friends or others you are close to about how you feel can relieve sensations of seclusion.

Tip 5: Be mindful of energy levels

During the day, check in with yourself, especially concerning your energy levels. Being mindful of how much energy you have, depending on what activities or things you must do is quite powerful.

For example, Jess and I get energy from seeing/engaging people in group work. However, we both find organizational/admin work incredibly draining. Asking yourself how you feel throughout the day will allow you to reflect on what is working and not working and reallocate tasks, if needed, to another time.

Tip 6: Prioritize sleep and food

Make sure you are sleeping right. Jess has had insomnia since her teenage years, and she still struggles with it. Her sleep is very much dependent on her mood, the weather and many different factors. She ensures that she eats regularly to regulate her mood. Being autistic, she needs sensory support and even if she is not eating, she finds having something to chew comforting.

Tip 7: Seek to be active

There is something about moving that just makes your brain work. Try your best to be active in some way, shape or form daily and change the scenery for at least half an hour per day. Jess does what she feels like on the day and doesn’t force it. This positively affects her mood levels and overall positive feelings. She prefers to be active first thing in the morning, even if it’s just walking outside around the block.

I really enjoyed chatting with Jess about this and discussing the ways in which even if you are neurotypical, there are some key things you can do to enhance your wellbeing.

Remember, we all exist on a huge multicoloured spectrum, which makes us all uniquely wonderful and what works for one does not work for another – life would be boring if that were not the case.