The 7 classic types of difficult people in the workplace

The following is an edited extract from 'How to Deal with Difficult People'.

The idea of ‘seven types of difficult people’ is drawn from behavioural psychology and organizational theory. It’s important to identify the types. Why? Because knowing ‘who’ they are helps in understanding ‘what’ they are and that helps us to understand ‘why’ they are.

Once we know ‘why’ they are difficult, we can figure out the ‘how’: how to deal with them.

1. The know-it-all

How to identify them? It’s pretty simple, they identify themselves. They are generally condescending, likely to talk down to you. They are poor listeners. Indeed, they are often unwilling to listen at all. If that isn’t enough of a give-away, they’ll insist they are always right. Look out for the person who dominates the conversation, talks over you and dismisses everyone else’s ideas.

Why are they like this? Maybe one of two reasons or perhaps a mixture of both. It comes from the need to control or get validation. Your average know-it-all is likely to feel insecure. Insecure about their own abilities. The know-it-all facade is a defence mechanism… to hide it. A camouflage. Alternatively, the know-it-all might have an inflated sense of self-worth; this derives from childhood and potentially getting everything they desired.

Here’s a word of warning. What about the know-it-all that does, actually, know it all? It’s rare but it does happen. They are experts, and they know it. They lack humility. They’ve spent too much time with people who tell them how clever they are.

Think of a Diva; self-important and temperamental. Drop them into a working environment, an office, or a factory floor. They’ve possibly worked there for years and know the place backwards; they are the expert on this account or work process and they know it; many depend on them for their know-how and they’re aware of this; they have a sense of self-importance and lack humility. They could even regard everyone else as time wasters; you'll surely have come across their type.

2. The complainer

Complainers are easy to spot. Complainers, moaners and groaners. All they can see are the problems. Glass half empty? Not really. The complainer can’t even see the glass! If they won a row of diamonds, they’d complain that they have nothing to wear with them and probably that they’ve nowhere to go.

Complainers can see nothing but problems. Never ask a complainer for a solution. They just can’t do it. They’re stuck in ‘nothing’s ever right’ territory. Even though they complain a lot, complainers can be very nice and ordinary people; the issue is they can see what’s wrong with everything, but they can’t see a solution or a way out of a problem. They can’t be constructive and helpful and this often derives from a lack of self-confidence where they won’t or don’t speak up. The complainer fears, if they do speak up, they may have to take responsibility for fixing the issue itself.

A point worth making – the complainer can be overlooked, dismissed and sidelined: ‘They’re always complaining’. But, what if, buried in the avalanche of complaints and negativity, there really is something to complain about? Something that needs fixing, putting right?

3. The passive-aggressive person

This is common behaviour in the workplace.

The passive-aggressive person will be the one full of sarcasm. The people who can’t resist a sly dig. The ones who never openly communicate their frustrations. They express hostility indirectly, such as through derision, procrastination or subtle digs, rather than openly communicating frustrations. They never actually ‘come out with it’.

Why are they like this? Why are they so often furtive and unable to be straight with colleagues? It often comes from not being able to express their emotions openly. If that’s true, we are left with another question. Why? Often it is the fear of confrontation. They don’t want to be drawn into anything. Least of all a row. It’s highly likely they will have history of repressed emotions which can go as far back as childhood. Their behaviour is sometimes identified as a learned coping mechanism from earlier life experiences.

4. The bully

Bullies in the workplace– how often do we hear about that? How their behaviour turns the dream job into a nightmare. Bullies use intimidation, manipulation or belittling tactics to control others, often to assert power or mask insecurities.

Bullying in the workplace is increasingly common. Why is that? It’s often because they’re not as tough as they’d like us to believe. Bullies may feel insecure or powerless in other areas of their lives. Work is the one place where they can feel powerful.

Also, it can be learned behaviour from previous experiences or workplaces. Often, a bully will have had a boss that was a bully and has simply mimicked their behaviour, taking it as the norm. It’s the way to get things done. They assume, if they are in charge, bullying and dominance is the only path to respect.

5. The people-pleaser

Can you spot them?

Maybe they are not difficult in the classic sense and often the pleaser will the charming and helpful… that’s the problem, perhaps too helpful.

In an effort to please, they’ll take on too much, agree to do too much and volunteer too often. They will struggle with boundaries and overload and will over-commit. So often this results in them failing. Failing to deliver, failing to complete. It leads to the team being let down, targets and schedules missed and that is difficult. The ‘pleaser’ will often step forward or step up, take something on to avoid conflict, e.g., ‘Don’t worry I’ll do it’. It can lead to burnout for them and resentment among colleagues.

Why do they do it? Because they have a deep-seated need for approval. To be appreciated. Often stemming from low self-esteem or fear of rejection. They may have been taught to prioritize others’ needs over their own. They are selfless when they could probably become a lot more reliable if they were a bit more selfish.

6. The negativist

Ever met someone who only sees the downside of everything? What a drag. People who never see the good in anything can have a devastating effect on morale. Their pessimism stops change and innovation in its tracks. They know how to strangle a new idea at birth.

Why do they have such a negative world view? Maybe it’s because of past disappointments. Maybe they’ve been let down and decide not to trust anyone again. Perhaps there is a trauma in their life that has planted the seeds of self-doubt. Negativity is often a defence mechanism. The little voice we all have inside us says to them ‘Never again’ and that’s how they avoid disappointment and failure.

7. The perfectionist

If someone is a perfectionist, how can they be difficult? The answer is, very easily! They have unrealistically high standards for themselves and that often cascades into the way they treat and manage other people. Micromanaging is a word that comes to mind! Driving people crazy is another one. This approach to life and work is often grounded in a fear of failure. Sometimes in the need for control. We all like to be on top of things but the perfectionist likes to be all over things.

Why are they like this? Perfectionism can be rooted in a fear of failure, need for control or belief that their value is tied to flawless results. They may struggle with self-worth, associating mistakes with personal inadequacy and insecurity.

Understanding Seven Difficult People Types

Understanding these seven basic types and how they behave is a helpful step toward dealing with challenging and difficult people effectively. It’s also worth noting that people seldom slot into single categories. People can often show more than one characteristic. Perfectionists can be too willing to take on more and bullies can wrap their behaviour in the need to please and achieve.

The situation they find themselves in, the environment and pressures they are under can often reveal people’s real character. People are complicated but if you understand the basics of how we behave and why, the job of dealing with difficult people becomes a lot easier.

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